my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
