some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
