she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
