yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
