i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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