Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
