i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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