I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
