its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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