i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
What a dumb baby whore.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
