I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
