sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
