just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
