i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
