now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
