ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
