marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Dignity is for republicans.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
