you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
