all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
