Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
