people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
