Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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