Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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