Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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