we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
