i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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