Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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