and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
