tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
