is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
