I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
