Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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