I smell stomach acid.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
