I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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