Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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