its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
