Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
A bitchslap is in order.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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