i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
