yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
