a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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