so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
