I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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