When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
