Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Randomize
