What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
