I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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