i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
