how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
