Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i came on her dog
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
