rhymes with "ouble enetration"
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
