It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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